Bonuses Steady in Criminal Law This Year
Simple Justice:
Trying desperately to be the criminal law alter ego of Above the Law (without resort to the infantile sexual innuendo and pictures of hotties that so enthrall young associates), I’m announcing the bonuses to be given in criminal defense for 2008 will be the same as those in 2007. Zero.
Sure, there are a few law firms of some magnitude that cover the practice area of criminal defense, or at least pretend they do, who have traditionally handed out bonus checks, but they don’t count because they either don’t really do criminal defense, or their concept of criminal defense is to walk the well-worn path to the United States Attorneys office to sip coffee and flip their client. Perhaps we need to come up with a different name for this type of representation, but it isn’t criminal defense as the rest of us know it.
Dan Hull, the toast of the continent and Jiminy Cricket of corporate apologists at What About Clients? bemoans the “entitlement theory” of associate bonuses reflected by the comments to ATLs announcement that Biglaw bonuses might be insufficient to cover the downpayment on the Ferrari.
“Just being-there” bonuses tells the whole world–not just your clients–that your law firm values “talent retention”, crowd control and morale in the associate ranks over common sense economics and the kind of things clients think about: reward, punishment, incentive, efficiency, penny-pinching in good times and bad.
The associates, in response, say very mean things. They want their bonus. They deserve their bonus. Because they breath. The best argument they can muster is if they don’t get a bonus, it just means the partners get more money, and to that they say (anonymously, of course), “screw the partners.”
Criminal defense lawyers, at least the ones I know, don’t go through end-of-year bonus angst. We don’t get them. …